Somehow i would love to have a great explanation as of why there isn't any foster news. All i can say is i'm here at the corner of Timing and Money. Waiting for them to work it out.
It's easy to get down hearted about this process and how right now, this is as far, faithfully as we can go. Until we can fix the fence, do home studies, finger printing, and home inspection, fire inspection, and some how get a vehicle to seat 2 more children (what we want to be open for.) This is where we are.
We know it will get done. Just not in my timing. God's been so faithful to provide constant reminders of it happening in His timing. not mine. Of His provision. not mine. A week ago i was sitting at the beach wondering how in the world i can clearly see the magnificent creation made be his hand, yet somehow feel he doesn't know what He's doing in my life sometime.
I'm an idiot.
When i negate the truth of the gifts he gives are just that. Gifts. From a loving father. As i got in the shower before Fi the other day, she threw a fit. As i picked her up i said " I'm not taking something away i told you that you'd do. Just wait." As i said it i was reminded how her actions and drama is exactly what in my heart i had been doing weeks before. When Carlos said we needed to wait on finishing foster process, it started. I nipped it quick. Didn't let it linger, and produce discontentment. I know this is his accomplishment in me, not mine.
Through this i have been trying to acknowledge the sweet treasure i usually look over. It has been so productive to fight the ugliness with gratitude. when i feel the ugly thoughts slipping in, i am quick to remind myself of what i have, and who has given it so abundantly.
He gets the Glory. It's just His character, knowing how to bring about that which will bring about His glory. Not leaving his children out to figure it out on their own. Guiding, with his quite voice, We just need to make sure being still enough to listen.
